60. Manifesting - Are You Unconsciously Living a Negative Life? And Is It Holding You Back From Manifesting?

In today's episode we are gettin into finding out if we unconsciously live negatively, and how that can affect us with manifesting. Most of us think we are positive, that there is't even a thought of being negative.  You will want to listen to this episode to find out the truth about how positive or unconsciously negative you are. This may be a reason you're having a hard time manifesting.  You wont want to miss finding out the answers to the questions in this episode.

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Transcript

Hello my Beautiful friends, how are you today? What have you been up to? Have you been saying your affirmations daily and writing in your journal 3-5 gratitudes every day? 

I know I remind you to do this often, but it really is important when it comes to staying on a high frequency. Also, I am curious as to getting your thoughts on something that I have been thinking about. What are your thoughts on me starting to interview others that have consciously manifested things into their life? Hearing their stories, Interviewing like minded people that maybe have written books, or that have a podcast of their own that is spiritual, people that are forward thinkers that we can all learn something from? I am curious to know your thoughts. I have never interviewed anyone before, but I wanted to know if that is something that you would be interested in listening to or are you one that isn’t really into interviews and would rather just hear whatever topics I come up with? 

So if you could please let me know by either messaging me on FB, in the manifesting formulas fb group or you can email me at Christinerizzo@christinerizzo.com It would be so amazing if you would get back to me on this. I want to give my listeners what the majority of you want. Because That’s how I roll lol . Listening to my peeps and what they want.Oh and btw….if you haven’t joined the fb group, what the fuck are you waiting for…lol just kidding. Every once in a while I need to throw that word in. It’s my sentence enhancer.  Ok so before we get into today’s episode which is  on such a great topic of negative thinking, This is really important because if you are a negative thinker and you don’t even realize it, then I can guarantee you are having issues with attracting what you want.  you need to understand why the things you are trying to manifest aren’t coming into your life. Which is why I am here my friends, to help you break down the wall so you can start loving yourself and start manifesting the shit out of everything. 

But before we go there, I wanted to give a big shout out to SVdarling for leaving me a 5 star review on apple podcasts and this is what she wrote. Her title is Life Changing. Thank you Christine for tapping into your unique gift and sharing it with the world. You are changing lives with your warmth, positive insight and wisdom. You have become such an integral part of my week and Wednesdays have become my favorite day since discovering your podcast.  

Thank you so much SVdarling. I am so grateful for your review and for letting others know how your feel about my podcast. My friends, this is exactly why I do what I do, the universe told me that I needed to start a podcast so I can share with you everything that you all need to know and learn so you can have the exact life that you want to have. It’s true. You are your own creators and you are creating everyday from your thoughts, which is why we want to be aware of what we are thinking and speaking out into the world. So let us speak some positivity into the world right now by thinking and speaking about what we are grateful for. 

So tell me tell me, what are you grateful for today? See it, feel it, love it. Today I am grateful for all the humans on this earth that give their time, their love and their selves to helping others love themselves so they can spread more love and positivity around the world. This act of love and kindness goes so very far. It’s all about love my friends. Ok ok, let’s get into this week’s episode and What we're talking about today is unconscious negativity.

Now, I want to tell you that most people do not even think of themselves as negative. Even the many of those who are. A lot of people when wanting to get coached by me don’t come to me saying,  Yes I'm super negative, I think I need help because I am  negative all the time.” The majority of people that are negative complain about the negative people in their lives. It’s very funny, how our brain will show us all these other people that are negative, and that they’re surrounding us from our family to our work environment, to the people in the grocery store. Wait…Before we go any further I want you to know that when I am talking about negative people, I am not talking about their essence and who they truly are. I'm talking about how their mind works, I'm talking about how they’re programmed, the way that their brain feeds them their thoughts, is negative.

so,The way that it looks to these negative people is that the people in their life are negative, and they will say to me, "I need you to help me with my husband, he's so negative." "I need you to help me with my mother-in-law, she's so negative." And you all know that I have mentioned this before what you see in other people is really just a projection of yourself, and when it comes to negativity, this is so very true.

When you complain about someone else’s complaining. Or you’re frustrated that someone else can't manage their own frustration. Maybe you are even out of your mind because someone else can’t control their temper. My friends You are just recycling the drama which you are creating. 

I have thought about this a lot -this is for all the people who think that they're very positive. And they don't recognize how negative they are because they feel like their judgment of other negative people puts them in the non-negative group. It's like, they’re thinking, there's this group of people that are negative and I'm not one of them.

But as soon as you label anyone as negative, then you are being negative about those people, you are automatically in that group. I know this may sound crazy but it’s true. You are judging them, which is negative and not allowing them to be who they are. You see if you were actually really positive, you wouldn’t see so many people being negative, because you wouldn’t attract those complaining or angry, to you. 

Remember, we are all magnets and we attract to us exactly what we emit out into the universe.  I see so much of this, especially around politics and  around outrage. It seems like rage, for - someone else is bad, and so you'll look at someone else's rage and be super angry about their rage, right? Because you don’t agree with what they are raging about, but for you it’s ok to spew your thoughts of rage all over Facebook and let everyone know how upset you are over what others are doing and how they are acting out. No that’s not negative at all. Seriously my friends, this is what actually happens. It’s crazy. 

you'll be so outraged about someone else’s rage. Which is actually fascinating to watch because there's such a lack of self-awareness in all of this.  so, I want you to ask yourself this question, and some of you are going to be blown away by this because you're going to be like, wow, I never knew I was a negative person but I guess I am. 

Now, you may ask me, does it really matter if you're negative ? You know the answer. Yes. Because number 1 it feels horrible. And 2 you won’t be able to manifest what you really want into your life, or what you think you want. The universe is always giving you what you want from the thoughts that you think. So if you are more negative, then you will attract more negative into your life, and if you are more positive then you will attract more positive things to you. You will know if you are more negative or positive from taking a look at your life. 

You may not be walking around talking about how terrible life is and how nothing works out, or about how you're never going to be successful. That may not be who you are. It may be more of an underlying thing, that most people don't realize they have. An unconscious negativity. And the more negative you are, the less you recognize it, which I think is also extremely fascinating.

Now if you are  already in a negative place, something that can happen, is when you start  to recognize your own negativity  going on in your mind, by listening to your thoughts,  you can start to become negative about your own negativity. You’ll start judging yourself about your own judgment, which then expands the problem. So please have compassion for yourself. You are learning all new things about who you are. Love yourself and just recognize that this is happening and forgive yourself for your thoughts. remember that you have the ability to not keep thinking that way. 

here my friends are some questions that you can ask yourself to find out if you are an unconscious negative person, and if you are, then you have to do some work to change how you think of things. We need to change our thinking so we can manifest my friends. Ok are you ready…..

1. Do you happen to complain about negative people? 

2. Do you see people that are negative in your world and do you complain about them? That's a huge indicator that you have unconscious negativity. 

3.Do you really notice when other people are being negative and does it really bother you? That's another indicator.

4.Do you blame other people for the way they act? 

5.Do you get mad at other people because they are unkind? 

6.Are you easily offended by things? Oh…That's another big indicator. If you think people are living their life wrong, like they should be better at how they live and should live a different way. MMMMHHHHMMMM 

Here’s another thing, that I notice with a lot of my clients and students, and I have to be honest, I  was this way when I was going to coach certification school years back, thankfully I realized as I kept growing how wrong I was. A lot of times when my clients work with me for a long time they grow immensely  and really start evolving into their own self, they then start to believe that they're better and more evolved than other people, that they truly get it and other people don't. When I see this in my clients or my students I tell them all the time, remember something, you aren’t better than the next person. You are just more aware of your thinking and how to control your life. Most people haven’t learned what you have, but that does not mean that you are more evolved or better than them. They are on their own journey as you are on yours. 

as soon as you start thinking that you're better or more evolved than someone else, or that you have the secret to life and that they don’t, you are being negative.  by you being positive about yourself being better. You are judging someone else right there, and you have made them less than you, which is totally negative my friends, am I right?

You want to pay attention to how you view people because it’s  really important. For example. When people start talking about other people being toxic, the way they are defining other people is severely negative. So if you have someone in your life that you think is toxic, and many people love to use this word today. 

But to be quite honest, a human being can not be toxic. I know they are using it as a metaphor but it’s extremely negative. The definition of toxic actually means: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious dehaibiltation. My freinds, There's no such thing as a poisonous person.  And there's no such thing as a toxic person. Think about all the negative venom coming out of your mouths when you actually label someone as toxic. And by you calling someone  toxic, is just as negative as how you feel they are as a person. 

Remember, There is only the way that you think when you're around someone. and yes it is easier to think positive thoughts around some people than others but that is because it's easier for you to manage your mind around certain people than other people. Which is why the Universe puts these people in our lives that we have such strong negative opinions about, to do the work on ourselves. 

I've been in some relationships that definitely were not healthy for me. And this is what I have come to learn.  the reason the relationship wasn't healthy for me was because of how I was in the relationship. Not because of the other person. So Let me explain. 

the other person may have been doing certain things or acting a certain way that made it easier for me to behave the way that I did, but it was always 100% me and my choices to be acting that way in that relationship. And you know what is really wild to me. Is that I think about some of those relationships that I had in my life, that I don't have in my life today, and I imagine myself re-entering those relationships now with who I am today, and I know that they wouldn’t be unhealthy anymore, because I'm not unhealthy for me. I am not the unhealthy person that I was back then when I thought my relationships were not healthy. Does that make sense. I have grown within myself and have made peace within who I am and my mind that now I wouldn’t have reacted the way I chose to back then. 

My friends, If you hear yourself in your own mind thinking that people should be different than they are, then you're wallowing in some negativity right there. People will say to me all the time, "I just don't like them. I just don't like how they act, it's just how I feel.” 

Any time we make that choice to like something or not, it's for a certain reason Right? Of course it is. . But if the reason you're choosing not to like a person is because you think that person makes you mad or makes you upset or whatever feeling you feel. I want you to notice the sentence that you are describing the other person with, if it's negative. Like….

"I just think they're rude." "I just think that they're selfish." Or that they’re just stupid, You having that kind of opinion of another person is a negative opinion.  And people will say to me, "But it’s true, they are. I think they're selfish. I think they're loud. I think they're obnoxious, I think they're rude, and therefore I think that's a good enough reason for me not to like them."

And yes of course, it is, and you can make any choice you want in your life  and decide however you want to feel on what it is you want to like or what you don't want to like about the person. But just notice the judgment and notice how that judgement makes you feel. It doesn’t feel so good, does it? No I didn’t think so. 

What happens is then the negativity about those people and all the justification that you wind up doing for not liking them, creates more negative thinking. You are feeling those negative feelings and you are attracting more negative to you. 

When you decide to not like someone, your brain automatically will find every possible reason for you to not like this person, because that is exactly how our brains work. We're always trying to confirm what we believe is true. So when you make a decision not to like someone, you will prove that to be true. And all of the proof, that you are going to find, for the negative thoughts that you have about that person, will always be more negativity.

people don't recognize that thinking negatively is a choice. You can manage your mind in a way that you can appreciate everyone and like everyone, or you can train your mind to dislike things and to dislike everyone. 

By watching your thinking and learning to control it, you can start learning to live a happier life. I used to get upset all of the time when the grocery line was long or standing on the bank line. I immediately would have thoughts running through my head, like I always pick the wrong line and it always takes forever at the bank   Immediately, I would start to complain in my head. Or when I would go out to a restaurant and the hostess or host would say there's going to be a long wait, immediately I would start bitching and get annoyed.  I used to  think the reason I was upset was because of the wait. I  would think I was upset because of the line. But really, I was upset because I didn’t  manage my mind. Today is a very different story, I have learned that what I think about I attract, and create myself. 

And this my friends is the same that's true for how you view your day, how you view the people in your life, in your neighborhood, how you view your house, how you view your kid's behavior, and most importantly, how you view yourself.

So when you start  to really pay attention to all of this, I want you to know that you will start seeing a lot more negativity going on in your mind than you ever realized was there. You'll be like, "Oh my gosh, that was another complaint. Oh my gosh, I just said I didn't like that. Oh my gosh, I just said this sucks." On and on and on with the negativity.

And I just want to warn you, please do not use that as a reason to be negative to yourself about being negative. Because that  doesn’t at all serve the purpose. 

So here is my assignment for you. when you think someone is being super negative, when you think someone is being obnoxious or rude or saying totally inappropriate things, whatever it is that you're making a judgment about, I want you to be able to separate out, what they're actually saying from your interpretation of it.

I want you to think about if someone says something that you feel was inappropriate, how could you dismiss it in a way that wouldn't be upsetting for you?  or in a way that you don’t feel like you have to manage someone else or expect them to be better than how they acted? How could you approach that situation in a different way?

And the reason why this is so powerful is that you will start to recognize that the other person has no control over how you think, how you feel, and what you do no matter how they show up. Even if they show up extremely upset, rude or inappropriate, that's all on them. That's their shit, that they are going through within themselves. But how you decide to think and believe about it, is on you.

So the minute you think they should be different than they are, you're going to feel  a huge amount of resistance.  When you can just let other people be who they are, oh, that's them, that has nothing to do with me. You will be in a much happier space. Now Im not saying that you can’t express your feelings if someone speaks harshly or extremely offensive toward you. I just want you to understand that how someone else acts toward you has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with who they are. 

Come from a place of love for yourself and let the person know. "Hey, when you say that, I just want to let you know that it's offensive and here's why." Instead of coming from a place of wanting to control what they say by being defensive. You want to notice where you are coming from.  if you're judging the person negatively, they will experience you speaking to them from that energy which may create more negative energy, and is that your intention or are you trying to present yourself in a way that is positive and loving?  most of you I think genuinely want to come from that place and we sometimes don't because we're reacting from negativity that we aren't even aware that we have.

So the first step is to become aware of your negativity without judgment. I want you to try and notice how often you complain, get angry or get upset and think other people are bad, wrong or toxic. The more you are aware of this, the more you can decide if you want to continue to keep thinking this way or if you want to continue feeling these feelings that don’t feel good. It’s about having more positive thoughts so we can stay on a high frequency. So we can enjoy living our life and so we can feel good. We can all have a life of 80/20 my friends, but you need to ask yourself, are you willing to do the work? 

Thank you all for listening to the Manifesting Formula and thank you for spreading the word. If you have any questions on today’s episode, you can reach me in the show notes. If you are interested in joining my 12 week coaching program, I would love to connect with you. Just go to www.christinerizzo.com and schedule your 30 minute consult. Have a beautiful day wherever you are in the world, Sending you all so much love peace and abundance, and if no one has told you today. I love you….see you next week bye.